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Havoc #61
Havoc #60
The End of the World IV
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Van Andel Arena
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Saturday 27th July 2002
Attendance: 17,536
Big Dave: Hello everyone and welcome to PWF Armageddon.
Poppa: Yes, Hello everyone and Welcome to The Real Show.
Big Dave: Aren't you supposed to be "The Real Show"?
Poppa: No, I AM the Real Show, but I thought it would make a cool opening to the show. Still, nevermind. Guess "cool" is out these days.
Big Dave: Well, the first point for discussion has to be the end of last weeks Havoc, the return of Antonio Gambino, and what a return.
Poppa: Finally Gambino has seen sense and gotten rid of the gWo.
Big Dave: Well, he has left the gWo, but his actions seem to have started a war, and people are already picking the sides which they are on. It's the PWF versus the gWo, and it will NOT be pretty.
Poppa: Why didn't they do this when I was here? Oh wait, they did, kind of.
Big Dave: Well we have been told that all will be revealed tomorrow night on Havoc, so we shall have to wait and see. Discussing it won't give us the answers we want.
Poppa: But we have to try and guess!! Just so we can be proved wrong.
Big Dave: If you say so.
"Perfect Ass-kickin'" blares over the loudspeakers as The Perfect Outlaw struts down to the ring. He steps into the ring, and motions for a microphone
The Perfect Outlaw: If I may have your attention for a moment...I'm sure you're all wondering who the hell I am and why the hell I'm here and what bone do I have to pick with this freak you all know as Inmate. Well...I'm not going to tell you who I am, but I will tell you why I'm here.
The Perfect Outlaw delays his explanation momentarily until the crowd calms
The Perfect Outlaw: It goes like this: This fed has a roster of superstars, and most of them just plain suck. They don't understand that to win, you've got to be perfect. If they want to lose, they can simply be themselves. There just isn't the amount of perfect in this federation that's necessary. And that's why I'm here. I'm going to clean up this fed, and get rid of the superstars that just plain suck, kinda like Inmate. But you'll just have to wait to know who I am, because that's not important right now. What's important is either getting this Inmate freak cleaned up and perfected, or destroy his career and make sure he never wrestles again. And thus...I call this plan 'Operation Utopia'...and so...."
Suddenly The Perfect Outlaw is cut off as "Jesus Christ Superstar" blares from the sound system. TPO looks suprised, wondering what's going on. Austin Cain struts out on to the stage, mic in hand, as the music switches up into "Tougher Than Leather".
The Perfect Outlaw: "I think your in the wrong place "Phenom", the man I'm looking for-"
Austin Cain: "Is in Detroit for Havoc dumbass! I guess being a "Perfect Outlaw" doesn't leave much time for reading the schedule, or being up on geography. But forget about Uncle Jailbird and your stupid fruitopia operation. You've got yourself a more serious problem on your hands right here, right now!"
Much of the crowd is in-different, waiting to see where this is going, but an ever-growing number of Cain fans cheer.
Austin Cain: "Last week I had my third shot at the European title, and for the third time some jackass decided to pull a run in. That belt was as good as mine! Now, I know you think you can get your gimmick over by attacking one of your fellow circus clowns like the Inmate, but you messed up when you crossed the best wrestler going today. When I'm in the ring, it becomes my domain, my property. The way I see it you were trespassing, and tonight it's time for your punishment. Enough babbling about your fruity fantasy, let's see how the Perfect Cheater deals with the Perfect Wrestler!"
The Perfect Outlaw: "Fine, You will become the first victim of Operation Utopia".
The Perfect Outlaw drops the mic and he and Austin Cain exchange trash talk off the mic as the camera fades to a commercial.
"My Plague" by Slipknot hits the speakers as Solo walks out. He looks out to the crowd, which boos louder than ever have before. Solo shrugs it off and head to the ring. Rolling into the ring, Solo slips up to his feet quickly. He turns to the ring announcer for a mic. Solo taps the mic to make sure it was on. As he goes to speak the crowd chants some foul words into the arena. Solo stands there laughing if he likes what he hears.
Solo: "Ok you all know how I feel about you and I know damn well how you all feel about me so you can just shut your pee holes up. I'm out here because of the people in the back. Looks like I am enemy #1 around here. Hell I am probably the biggest heel in the business right now. You know what I could give a rat's ass what you son of bitches in the back think."
Solo paces around the ring some as he seems to be a bit pissed off.
Solo: "Well naturally I would just pick a fight but seems that some of the people in the back don't want anything to do with me. Thats all fine and dandy. The fact of the matter is you all chicken. Your afraid of what might happen to your precious career. Thats ok. I can see why you would all fear me. I mean those hot looking chicks are something to look pretty for."
Solo smirks a bit as he leans on the top rope looking toward the entrances ramp.
Solo: "Well then again I think you all are you know funny. Its true half you guys are always running around the building in pairs. Except for a few, but pretty much defines the population of the PWF. Bunch of faggot little quee..."
Masta P stands on the top of the ramp with a microphone in his hand, he goes to speak but then tilts his head
Masta P: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
Masta P then jerks his head up
Masta P: woah, sorry there ladies and gentlemen it appears that I fell asleep, I wonder what brought that on?
Masta P looks towards the ring
Masta P: Oh look there's the reason, Solo you must be The most boring man that I have ever seen or heard. Your boring me, your boring all the people, the people who came to see Masta P not some whiny past his time bitch. Hell your even boring the tech guys.
Masta P then proceeds to pull one of the tech guy up on to the ramp.
Masta P: So (looks at name tag) Phil, let me ask you, your here, your working hard, probably got a family to feed. So how do you feel having to listen to this whiny little bitch boring the hell outta of the nation.
Phil: Err.. well
Masta P: That's right Phil, you hate it.
Masta P turn towards Solo
Masta P: So Solo, For the sake of me, for the sake of the people, for the sake of little old Phil, will you please Shut the hell up!.
The crowd cheer loudly
Masta P: My god Solo, you could moan for America in the Olympics the only person I know that moans as much as you is ..well JVD. But as everyone here, Including Phil, knows is for a very different reason.
Huge roar of laughter is heard from the crowd.
Masta P: What an idea, JVD and Solo Americas Olympic moaning team, Well Solo you clearly cant wrestle or talk, so I see this as an ideal opportunity for you to find a career your at least half decent at.
Solo angrily looks at Masta P
Masta P: No, doesn't take your fancy? Well Solo if your going to insist on carrying your shambolic career as a wrestler, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to kick your ass.
The crowd cheer again
Masta P: Now Solo you wonder why everyone in the back wont even look at you, its because you really, truly Suck. So I'm going to make this quick, so not to embarrass you even more. So everybody get ready because Masta P in association with the Playaz club is about to deliver another bonafide ass kicking.
The crowd cheer loudly as Masta P makes his way to the ring
Big Dave: We have ourselves an impromptu matchup.
Credit: Splinter
Report: Masta P and Solo circle eachother, Solo can clearly be heard shouting abuse at Masta P who seems to be getting angry. Masta P leaps in and ties up with Solo but Solo pulls Masta P in and lands three hard knees to the gut. Masta P starts reeling back and Solo drops him to the mat with a well placed right hand. Masta P bounces right back up to his feet, Solo instantly hits him with a barrage of rights to the gut and face, finishing with a clothesline to take Masta P down. Solo keeps Masta P down with several stomps to the chest. Masta P starts to get up and Solo tries to land a right hand, but Masta P blocks it and lands three of his own. Masta P tries a clothesline but Solo ducks under and rolls Masta P up 1 Masta P kicks out. Solo gets up and stomps on Masta P a few more times. Solo picks Masta P up and throws him to the ropes, on the way back Solo downs Masta P with a clothesline. Solo then mounts Masta P and lands eight hard rights to the face. Solo gets up and then picks Masta P up. He lands four hard rights then kicks Masta P in the gut. He hoists Masta P up and drives him into the mat with a piledriver! Solo covers Masta P 1 2 Masta P kicks out. Solo can hardly believe it. Solo picks Masta P up again up kicks him in the gut. He hoists him up and repeats the piledriver. Solo grins as he covers Masta P again 1 2 Masta P kicks out again.
Big Dave: Solo showing his trademark aggressive streak.
Poppa: Why doesn't Masta P bring some of his ladies to the ring with him? Why? Dammit, WHY???
Solo gets up looking angry. Solo picks Masta P up and lands four rights to the face, keeping the pressure on. He throws Masta P to the ropes, on the way back Solo plants him with an impressive one handed spinebuster! Solo realises that it won't be enough to pin Masta P and thus picks him up again. Solo boots Masta P in the gut and drops him with the Painful Memories! (Stone Cold Stunner) Solo grabs Masta P and covers him pulling the leg back as far as he can 1 2 Masta P kicks out! Solo gets up in disbelief and starts to viciously stomp away at Masta P. Solo picks the know very groggy Masta P up and throws him to the ropes, on the way back Masta P nails Solo with the Lady Killer! (Huge Clothesline) The impact is enough to send Masta P down to the mat aswell. The two men lay on the mat as the crowd cheer for Masta P. The referee starts to count the two men out 1 2 3 4 5 Masta P has crawled to the ring ropes and to pull himself up. He gets to his feet and beckons for Solo to get up, the crowd are going wild. Solo gets to his feet and angrily charges at Masta P whos nails him straight in the face with the Bling Bling! (Test Big Boot). Masta P picks up Solo and throws him to the ropes, Solo slides under. Masta P stands in the ring and beckons for Solo to come back. Solo rolls back in with a lead pipe in his hand! Solo goes to hit Masta P but Masta P ducks it. Masta P kicks Solo in the gut and hoists him up for the Masta Bomb, but Solo still has the lead pipe and when Masta P has him up Solo nails Masta P right in the forehead with the pipe! Masta P collapses down, Solo landing on top of him. The referee goes crazy and has no problem ringing the bell for the DQ!
Big Dave: Well I guess Solo just couldn't control himself, and his temper got the better of him.
Poppa: Well I guess more people will have a problem with him from now on. Ouch, I think Masta P is busted open.
Solo looks angrily at the referee who flees the ring. Solo starts to hit Masta P in the chest with the pipe, the crowd are booing louldly. Solo picks Masta P up, hits him in the stomach with the lead pipe and then downs him with the Painful Memories. Solo drops the lead pipe and then rolls out of the ring, Masta P lies still bleeding from his face. Solo backs up the ramp yelling at Masta P.
Poppa: Solo is definitely one nasty piece of work. We really should try and do something about him.
Big Dave: Like what?
Poppa: I dunno, maybe we should force him to go out on a date with JVD, that's actually above the Death Sentence these days.
Big Dave: Hahahah, I like it.
Splinter and jay Stylez are shown backstage with Ted Tedison, both are visibly throwing dirty looks at eachother. Neither of them likes being anywhere near eachother.
Tedison: So Splinter...
Splinter: Thats me...
Jay Stylez: Shut up you fool.
Tedison: OK... You two are the newest talent in the PWF how do you feel you've settled in.
Splinter: I dunno about Jay here but I feel I've settled in fine, you know putting Brian Lee out and of course defeating Stylez...
Jay Stylez: Shut it! I've settled in good, and I would've settled in a lot better if you hadn't Reality Rift Splashed that chair into my chest for NO REASON!
Splinter and Stylez square up, face to face
Splinter: Oh but there was a reason Jay... Cos Splinter, thats me, IS a Hardcore Chair Swinging Freak! And thus... I USE CHAIRS!
Jay Stylez: (mockingly): Yeah well Jay Stylez, thats me, is the street hustler and I showed you what I can do when I smacked you with that chair!
Splinter: You don't deserve to weild that chair! In fact you dishonoured everything that is chair!
Tedison: OK you two, calm dow...
Splinter and Stylez: TEDISON! SHUT IT!
Tedison: Sorry...
Splinter: Theres only one way to settle this Stylez... Splinter, thats me, vs Jay Stylez, thats you... IN THE RING!
Jay Stylez: Thats fine with me... But why only the once? Why not a best of 3 series? Or can't you take it?
Splinter: Splinter, thats me, can take ANYTHING you can take Stylez.
Jay Stylez: Fine, you have first match pick! What do you choose?
Splinter: Its gonna do like this... Splinter, thats me, vs Jay Stylez, thats you, in a STREET FIGHT! Do you remember your debut? Do you remember that street fight?
Jay Stylez: I'll never forget it. And thanks to you making that match I'll finally get my revenge!
Splinter: We'll see about that Stylez, we'll see...
Splinter walks off shouting ''We'll see Jay, We'll see!'', Tedison turns to Jay to speak but Jay walks off angry
The camera switches to Power G's locker room door. It swings open and out come McCoy and Power G.
McCoy:(1): You ready G? This Heelmaster won't know what has hit him. He'll feel the full brute of a ready and fresh Power G. Oh yes, victory seems almost certain.
Power G nods and they continue to walk towards the ring.
McCoy:(1): I want a quick finish G. Chop him enough so you just break sweat and then BAM!! Hit him with the G Power Slam and finish it. Hahaha! It'll be sweet.
They go through some double doors into another corridor. They turn left but before doing so, McCoy glances behind him and is shocked.
McCoy:(1): What the?!?!
Power, who hasn't seem the man behind them, looks at McCoy.
McCoy:(1): It's nothing G. I just remembered something. I'll just go back for it, you carry on to the ring. I've just got to take care of something.
G walks out of shot and McCoy goes back through the double doors. Stood there is The Real McCoy. Or is he?
McCoy:(1): Oh, so we meet again. I thought I'd disposed of you. It seems not. I'll have to change that
McCoy(2) ignores him and walks past, about to go through the double doors, to the ring. But McCoy(1) attacks him from behind and knocks him to the floor. He picks him up and slams him into the wall. McCoy(2) slums to the floor. McCoy(1) drags him into a storage room and locks the door.
McCoy:(1) (smiling): That takes care of that. Haha! McCoy(1) walks back through the double doors and goes to catch up Power G.
Poppa: Wo! Two McCoy's? What the hell is going on around here?
Big Dave: Well I guess it's true, there is two Real McCoys. Or I should say one Real McCoy and one Fake McCoy. The question is which one is the Real McCoy?
Poppa: You lost me.
Big Dave: I think I lost myself in that one as well. Someone needs to sort out this mess somehow, while we watch Heelmaster v Power G.
Report: Power G opens with a gut kick but Heelmaster grabs the foot on Power G and then snaps it around with the Mandari Hineri. Power G gets back to his feet. Power G whips Heelmaster , but he comes charging back and hits a Diving Elbow Smash. Heelmaster is up again. Now Power G standing. Power G locks on a waistlock, but Heelmaster counters with a Mule Kick. Power G moves back to his feet, but still holding his family jewels. Heelmaster takes Power G down with a nice Hiptoss. Heelmaster drives a forearm into the face of Power G. Heelmaster hits Power G with a couple of quick right hands. Power G runs at Heelmaster , but he surprises him with a nifty Back Elbow. Heelmaster quickly grabs Power G and snaps on an arm wrench. Power G sends Heelmaster to the corner and then follows in and runs up his body in the Tiger Wall Flip. Power G throws Heelmaster clean over the top rope to the floor. Carlton Rock starts the count (.1) Power G throws Heelmaster into the Steel Ring Post. Heelmaster can only watch as Power G cartwheels and then takes him down with a Body Block. Amazing Move. Power G kips back up to his feet. Heelmaster staggers back up. Power G and Heelmaster both roll back into the ring. Power G goes for a Slingshot Somersault Splash but Heelmaster dodges the attack. Power G throws Heelmaster to the outside and then follows him out. Carlton Rock starts the count (.1) Power G throws Heelmaster into the Guard Rail.
Poppa: Ouch, Power G just reminded me why I hate steel.
Big Dave: And why is that?
Poppa: Because it hurts like hell of course!!!
Power G lifts Heelmaster up and then drives him down onto his knee with the Back Breaker. (..2) Power G throws Heelmaster into the Guard Rail. (...3) Power G runs at Heelmaster and catches him clean on the jaw with a Jumping Calf Kick. (....4) Heelmaster and Power G both roll back into the ring. Power G goes for a Reverse DDT, but Heelmaster counters with a Snapmare. Power G goes for a right hand, but Heelmaster ducks it and delivers an Arm Popper counter. Heelmaster hits a quick boot to Power G's gut. Power G climbs to the top rope, but Heelmaster crotches him. He then climbs up to hit the Super Plex. Heelmaster stands up as Power G staggers to his feet. Heelmaster quickly grabs the arm of Power G and delivers an Arm Popper. Heelmaster lifts Power G into the air. He holds him there and then drops him to the mat with a Suplex. Heelmaster stands over the fallen Power G and raises his arm in the air before hitting the Bionic Elbow. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 Power G kicks out. Power G climbs to his feet. Heelmaster goes for a Side Slam but Power G counters with a Flying Head Scissors. Heelmaster lifts up Power G and hits him with a Back Drop. Heelmaster sucks chants start in the crowd. Power G climbs to his feet.
Poppa: Heely Sucks, Heely Sucks, Heely Sucks..
Big Dave: What the hell are you doing?
Poppa: I'm orchestrating the crowd.
Big Dave: Any particular reason?
Poppa: Not really, I think Heelmaster may have made me tap out once, can't remember, just the possibility it good enough for me.
Big Dave: Right ..
Power G takes a quick forearm from Heelmaster. Heelmaster grabs the foot on Power G and then snaps it around with the Mandari Hineri. Power G climbs to his feet. Power G goes to whip Heelmaster, but he reverses and then floors Power G with a Back Elbow. Power G goes for a Reverse DDT, but Heelmaster counters with a Snapmare. Power G is up again. Heelmaster charges at Power G and takes to the air with a Diving Elbow Smash. Heelmaster is back on his feet. Power G is back on his feet. Heelmaster grabs Power G and twists his arm into an arm wrench. Power G has a waistlock on Heelmaster. But Carlton Rock is distracted so Heelmaster hits a Mule Kick. Power G gets to his feet and then climbs to the top rope, but Heelmaster crotches him. He then climbs up to hit the Cradle Suplex. Heelmaster gets back to his feet. Now Power G standing. Heelmaster hits Power G with a couple of quick right hands. Power G goes for a Hiptoss, but Heelmaster blocks it and then hits a Hiptoss of his own. Heelmaster stands over the fallen Power G and raises his arm in the air before hitting the Bionic Elbow. Carlton Rock counts. ...1 2 Power G kicks out. Power G gets up. Power G goes for a Sambo Suplex but Heelmaster elbows out of the move. Heelmaster throws Power G through the ropes, but he lands on his feet and then pulls Heelmaster out himself. Carlton Rock starts the count (.1) Power G throws Heelmaster into the Steel Steps. Power G goes behind Heelmaster and then hits an Atomic Drop. (..2) Power G throws Heelmaster into the Steel Ring Post. They lockup, but The Real McCoy sneaks in a club to the back, which distracts Heelmaster. Using the distraction, Power G leaps onto Heelmaster's shoulders and then snaps him over with a Hurricanranna. Power G chants start. Heelmaster gets back to his feet. Power G slams Heelmaster into the guard rail and he stumbles into the aisle. (...3)
Big Dave: These two seem to enjoy fighting on the outside of the ring.
Poppa: I hear Heelmaster is a Sadist, but that's just a rumour I heard.
Big Dave: Who told you that?
Poppa: Errr let me think for a second, Sabre, yeah, it was Sabre.
Big Dave: You sure?
Poppa: 101% certain. And I am not lying, honest.
Big Dave: We'll take your word for it.
As Heelmaster stands up, Power G floors him with a Spinning Wheel Kick. Power G stands over Heelmaster and then does a perfect Backflip Moonsault. Heelmaster and Power G both roll back into the ring. Heelmaster punches Power G repeatedly. Heelmaster hooks Power G's arm and Single Arm DDT's him into the mat. Heelmaster executes a neck breaker. Heelmaster pulls Power G up and then plants him with a Side Belly to Belly Suplex. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3
Poppa: Boo!!! I wanted the G man to win.
Big Dave: Well tough.
Poppa: No Fair!! Heelmaster didn't even make Power G tap, that's just SO not like him. It's a facking disgrace.
Big Dave: Moo.
Poppa: What did you just say?
Big Dave: Moo.
Poppa: GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT!!!!!!!!!!! You can't say moo!!! That's copyrighted by the Canadian Monkey Empire. Speak such a word again, and you will be Paptized. Understand.
Big Dave: Whatever.
We see Barry, Leroy and Sue in the back. Sue's face is badly bruised.
Leroy: Sue, are you sure you should be here?
Sue: The doctor said I was fine!
Barry: No, the doctor said you should have no permenant injuries IF you rested.
Sue: I rested plenty.
Leroy: You were unconcious for over 24 hours...
Sue: ENOUGH! Look what those bastards did to my face! Do you really think I want to be lying in a hospital bed? They are going to pay! And I want to right here so I can watch, up close and personal.
Barry: Agreed. Nobody messes with Team:Brutal Force. Payback begins tonight. I am going to take out Cossak Joe, one on one. And that is only the begining. they hurt us, so we will hurt them. Physically as well as mentally. Those Tag team title belts they parade around in will soon belong to Brutal Force. And there is nothing they can do about it.
Sue: Except cheat.
Leroy: Yeah. They always have some underhand trick up their sleeve to weasle their way out of losing.
Barry: Well, fuck their tricks and fuck them! We are going to take them apart, we are going to Brutalise them! One at a time, two at a time, hitting them with weapons. It makes no difference. Who cares about the rules! We will fight fire with fire!
Sue: NO! I want them humiliated. I don't want them to be able to say they were cheated. You will beat them fair and square. Because tonight I have a plan that will put a stop to their cheating ways. Tonight, it really will just be about who is the most brutal.
Leroy: And there isn't anyone more brutal than Barry Burton. So Sue, what's the plan?
Sue: I'll tell you as soon as this guy gets that damn camera out of my face!
Fade out
The Camera cuts backstage where the Russians are standing near to the Sprite machine. Wowbowski is casually dressed, having the the night off. His back is turned to the camera and it appears he is purchasing a beverage. Cossak on the other hand is in his wrestling attire, he is relaxed as he watches the TV. He polishes his belt a bit before looking over to Wowbowski.
Cossak: Comrade.
Wowbowski takes a drink of the sprite before replying
Wowbowski: Da?
Cossak: Did you hear vhat team Brutal be sayink about us?
Wowbowski: Nyet, vhat do they say?
Cossak: They be sayingk that ve be cheaters. that ve break rules to beat them.
Wowbowski: Cheat? I no remember cheatink, ze only thing ve break vas poor little Sue's face.
Cossak: Hehehe, Ve must have done damage to brains of pathetic americanski's in last 2 times ve beat them
Wowbowski: Vhat are they thinking? ve no be cheaters, ve fight fair! Not our fault that ve are just vay better than ze are.
Wowbowski takes another swig of the Sprite, he spits it out and looks at the bottle
Cossak: Vhen be cheatink? i confused
Wowbowski: vhy do people ruin good vodka by mixingk vith this horrible drink.
Wowbowski throws the bottle away as the two walk off, confused as to how they have been cheating, discussing it before they are out of the cameras range
Poppa: The Russians drinking Sprite? That's something I never thought I would see.
Big Dave: Join the club, I'd have thought they'd be strictly vodka only people.
Poppa: Well I suppose he did dump the drink eventually.
Report: Cossak runs at Barry and drives his knee into his gut with the awesome Kitchen Sink. Barry moves back to his feet. Cossak sees Barry charging at him and surprises him with a Manhattan Drop. Barry is back on his feet. Cossak quickly grabs the arm of Barry and delivers an Arm Popper. Cossak scoops Barry up in a Fireman's Carry, then swings him overhead with the Gutbuster. Barry is up again. Cossak drives a forearm into Barry. Cossak hits Barry with a couple of quick right hands. Cossak floors Barry with a stiff lariat. Barry is almost KO'd, as Cossak connects with a devastating Big Boot to the face. Barry gets up. Barry tries to grap Cossak, but gets a swift knee to the groin to end his attack. Barry runs at Cossak , but he surprises him with a nifty Back Elbow. Barry goes for a right hand, but Cossak ducks it and then floors him with the Haymaker. Barry gets up. Cossak floors Barry with the awesome Haymaker. Barry moves back to his feet. Barry tries to grap Cossak, but gets a swift knee to the groin to end his attack. Cossak grabs the head of Barry and rakes his fist across his eyes. Barry goes for a clothesline, but Cossak ducks underneath and then floors Barry with a hard lariat. Now Barry standing. Barry goes behind Cossak and then drives him into the mat with the awesome Full Nelson Slam.
Poppa: Don't you just wish you could be me for just one day?
Big Dave: Not in this life time.
Poppa: But why not? I mean lets face it, I rule, and you, well, you suck.
Big Dave: How am I ever going to survive this? He's only been here two weeks and already he's doing my head in.
Poppa: Look, I know you and your wife are having problems, but don't worry, I know a good doctor who sells a few pills on the side. His address is ..35 .
Big Dave: SHUT UP!!!!!
Poppa: Sheesh, I was only trying to help.
Barry scoops up Cossak and drives him into the mat with the Scoop Slam. Barry Burton chants start. Cossak goes for a right hand, but Barry ducks it and then hits the Clothesline from Hell. Barry covers Cossak hooking the leg. Chris Regan counts. ...1 ...2 Cossak kicks out. Cossak is back on his feet. Barry twists the leg of Cossak over and then locks on the Figure Four Leglock. Referee Chris Regan is checking for a tap out. ... ... Cossak escapes. Cossak takes a stiff Haymaker to the gut from Barry, sending him crashing to the mat. Barry goes for a pin. Referee Chris Regan makes the count. ...1 ...2 Cossak kicks out. Barry snaps Cossak down to the mat with a Gordbuster. Cossak is back on his feet. Barry grabs the head of Cossak and rakes his fist across his eyes. Barry quickly grabs the arm of Cossak and delivers an Arm Popper. Cossak takes a nasty elbow smash from Barry. Cossak takes a strong punch from Barry. Barry gets Cossak in the corner and then holds him as he rakes his eyes across the top rope. Cossak gets back to his feet. Barry sees Cossak charging at him and surprises him with a Manhattan Drop. Cossak is up again. Barry scoops Cossak up in a Fireman's Carry, then swings him overhead with the Gutbuster. Cossak gets up. Barry dives at Cossak and takes him down by the throat and continues choking him on the mat. Cossak gets up. Cossak charges at Barry but gets sent soaring with a Back Body Drop. As Barry pulls him up, Cossak slides behind and locks on a waistlock, but Barry counters with a Mule Kick. Cossak gets back to his feet. Barry catches Cossak with a hard Body Punch. Cossak charges at Barry, but gets caught with the Kitchen Sink. Barry stuns Cossak with a quick jab. Cossak staggers back as Barry connects with a Downward Elbow Strike. Barry kicks Cossak in the gut. Cossak hooks Barry up for a Suplex, but he breaks it up with a hard Elbow to the mid-section. Cossak hits a hard right hand, and then a 2nd, but the third is ducked and Barry scores a Back Fist. Barry grabs Cossak and twists his arm into an arm wrench. Barry catches Cossak clean in the face with a Kung Fu style Back Fist. Barry levels Cossak with an awesome Uppercut to the jaw. Cossak gets up. Barry lifts Cossak up from behind and smashes him Shin first into his knee. Cossak moves back to his feet. Barry grabs Cossak and then smashes him in the face repeatedly with his knee. Cossak stands up. Barry floors Cossak with the awesome Haymaker. Cossak is up again. Barry catches Cossak with a quick front kick. Cossak goes for a clothesline, but Barry ducks underneath and then floors Cossak with a hard lariat. Cossak gets up. Cossak runs at Barry , but he surprises him with a nifty Back Elbow. Barry irish whips Cossak into the ropes and then floors him with an awesome Clothesline. Cossak powers Barry up into the air into a Gorilla Press. Cossak then drops Barry onto the mat.
Poppa: Can I speak now?
Big Dave: No, you keep your mouth shut, and I will call the match.
Poppa: But I
Big Dave: What did I tell you?
Poppa: {sulks} not fair .
Barry takes a strong punch from Cossak. Barry runs at Cossak , but he surprises him with a nifty Back Elbow. Cossak swiftly pokes Barry in the eyes while Chris Regan is distracted. Cossak scoops Barry up in a Fireman's Carry, then swings him overhead with the Gutbuster. Cossak lifts Barry up to the top rope, hooks his head and then delivers the Super Plex. Cossak charges at Barry and floors him with an awesome Big Boot. Now Barry standing. Barry charges at Cossak, but gets caught with the Kitchen Sink. Cossak grabs Barry by the throat and chokes him until Chris Regan asks for a break. Cossak trys for a Backdrop but Barry avoids it. Barry charges at Cossak, but he counters with a rollup into a Boston Crab. Referee Chris Regan is checking for a tap out. ... ... Barry trys to escape. ... Cossak tightens the hold. ... Barry is fighting the hold. Cossak breaks the hold. Barry takes a boot to the gut from Cossak. Irish Whip from Barry, but only to see Cossak come back and floor him with a Clothesline. Barry climbs to his feet. Barry takes a quick forearm from Cossak. Barry has a waistlock on Cossak. But Chris Regan is distracted so Cossak hits a Mule Kick. Cossak stands over the fallen Barry and raises his arm in the air before hitting the Bionic Elbow. Referee Chris Regan makes the count. ...1 ...2 Barry kicks out. Barry climbs to his feet. Cossak quickly grabs the arm of Barry and delivers an Arm Popper. Barry ducks underneath Cossak's right hand and then plants him with the Full Nelson Bomb. Barry chants start. Barry covers Cossak. Chris Regan counts the pin. ...1 ...2 Cossak kicks out. Cossak moves back to his feet. Cossak charges at Barry, but he counters and Snake Eyes him on the top rope. Cossak moves back to his feet. After throwing Cossak into the corner, Barry makes sure he doesn't get up with violent stomps. Barry chants start. Suddenly Wowbowski appears in the ring, Barry spins around, only to walk straight into a brass knuckles shot smack between the eyes. Chris Regan calls for the bell.
Big Dave: Barry has won the match!
Poppa: Doesn't look like it, I mean he's out cold in the middle of the ring, and Cossak Joe is walking up the aisle. If Barry's is a winner, I'd rather be a loser.
Big Dave: Aren't you already a loser?
Poppa: Okay, now that was below the belt. This calls for a thumb war.
Big Dave: I'm not into thumb fighting.
Poppa: Well during the break, I'll indoctrine you into the system.
Big Dave: Please don't.
Poppa: Did I say you had a choice?
Big Dave: Hey, isn't that Sue?
Sue come running out of the back armed with a Steel Chair. She goes for the Russians, she clocks Cossak with a shot to the face, but Wowbowski reacts quickly and ducks the chair shot intended for him and then boots Sue in the gut, forcing her to the drop the chair. Wowbowski quickly slips on his brass knucks and then delivers a vile shot to Sue's already bruised face. A couple of nearby fans throw their drinks at Wowbowski, disgusted at his actions. Suddenly Leroy comes running out from the back, Wowbowski pushes Cossak off the stage and then drops the few feet to the floor himself. He helps Cossak towards the back as Leroy stares at them, and then turns his attention to the injured Sue Plex.
Big Dave: The Russians disgust me, how can they treat a woman like that?
Poppa: They are gWo after all, did you expect them to be nice and friendly?
Big Dave: I know Sue hit them first, but they did not have to do that.
Poppa: Try telling that to them.
The camera fades back stage to a shot of Canadian Kaos sitting in there lockeroom preparing for there 6 man tag match.
Grimm: Dude you still haven't told me who our partner is.
Hanibal: I said i'd tell you when he got hear. Hes running a little late.
Grimm: sounds american! YOU BETTER NOT HAVE?!
Hanibal smirks
Hanibal: please, like i would let something as Low as an American, team with men of our Stature. I promise i got the best guy for the job.Anyway Whos Dull and Alexandras partner?
Grimm: they haven't picked anybody yet but think this is the Gods of Bore, they have no freinds and no talent.
Hanibal: ya but whats your point?
Grimm:But don't you see the logic? The Gods of Bore, being the the most untalented thing around had to levitate to somebody that has something they have in commen with. And who almost as no talented as Dull and Alexandra?
Hanibal: nobody i can think of
Hanibal begins laughing
suddenly the door flings open and both men pop there heads up.
Hanibal: ahhh here he comes now...
Grimm and Hanibal part to reveal Silas Parish as their chosen partner for the six man tag match. He smiles to the camera and takes a step or two forward.
Parish: Thats right folks, Canadian Kaos has made an excellent choice to be their third in the six man tonight. Former PWF Hardcore and Extreme champion and soon to be PWF U.S. champion again when I kick the crap outta Sandworm... again!
Both members of Canadian Kaos chuckle in the background.
Parish: You think you were pretty funny screwing me out of advancing in the Last Man Standing tourney huh Sandworm? Well, soon you'll be laughing out of the other side of your mouth boy! You see, there is an old saying that keep springing to my mind lately. It goes something like this... PAYBACK'S A BITCH!
Talking about Sandstorm, Parish looks like his head is about to explode he's so pissed off.
Parish: You advanced and I didn't. Now, with that in mind, you tell me... do you really think we should reschedule MY rematch for the U.S. title? If you want my opinion, I think it'll be the only match you'll have at Last Man Standing. There is NO way in hell that you'll make it past the next round! NO WAY! I'll make damn good and sure of it! You've pushed my buttons for the LAST time Sandworm. Come Last Man Standing, you WILL be facing me, and you WILL give me back MY belt. There ain't one damn thing you can do about it either!
Parish stalks off to his locker room to prepare for the match.
Big Dave: Well I guess Canadian Kaos have revealed their partner for tonights big Six Man Match, but Gods of War have yet to reveal their hand.
Poppa: Reveal their hand?
Big Dave: Poker thing.
Poppa: Gotcha.
Report: Jay Stylez goes to grab Splinter, but gets an eye gouge for his troubles. Splinter charges in, but gets caught with an elbow to the mid-section by Jay Stylez. Splinter kicks Jay Stylez clean in the family jewels. Blatant Illegal Move. Jay Stylez drives a forearm into the face of Splinter. Jay Stylez takes Splinter by surprise with the spectacular Flipping Dropkick. Jay Stylez stands over Splinter and then does an amazing Backflip Moonsault into a pin. Referee Duane Dibley makes the count. ...1 Splinter kicks out. Jay Stylez slides to the apron, then uses the ropes as a slingshot for a Back Brain Kick. Jay Stylez stuns the watching crowd as he rolls over Splinter's shoulder to hit an Arm Drag. Jay Stylez dives off the top rope, sending Splinter spiralling to his Final Destination.. Duane Dibley counts. ...1 Splinter escapes. Now Splinter standing. Jay Stylez charges at Splinter and takes to the air with a Cross Body Block. Now Jay Stylez standing. Splinter is up again. Jay Stylez can only watch as Splinter cartwheels and then takes him down with a Body Block. Amazing Move. Splinter is back on his feet. Splinter springs to the top rope, signals to the crowd, and then hits the Frog Splash. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 Jay Stylez escapes. Jay Stylez is back on his feet. Splinter slides behind Jay Stylez and locks in a Rear Chinlock. Duane Dibley is checking for a tap out. ... Jay Stylez trys to escape. ... (AHHHH!) ... Splinter tightens the hold. Splinter breaks the hold. Splinter throws Jay Stylez through the ropes sending him rolling into the aisle. Splinter throws a Steel Chair at Jay Stylez. Jay Stylez is bleeding as a result. Splinter comes from behind and delivers a Bulldog Headlock to Jay Stylez.
Big Dave: Nice Bulldog by Splinter.
Poppa: That all you can say?
Big Dave: Well no, but
Poppa: Thought so.
Splinter is up again. Splinter climbs to the top rope and then dives off with a Big Splash onto Jay Stylez. Duane Dibley counts. ...1 ...2 Jay Stylez escapes. Jay Stylez climbs to his feet. Splinter throws Jay Stylez down the aisle back into ringside. Splinter throws Jay Stylez into the Guard Rail. Jay Stylez hooks Splinter up and plants him onto the floor with a Snap Suplex. Jay Stylez is up again. Jay Stylez climbs to the top rope and then stuns the entire crowd with a Shooting Star Press. Referee Duane Dibley makes the count. ...1 ...2 Splinter kicks out. Jay Stylez goes behind Splinter and locks in a Sleeper Hold. The referee is checking the situation. ... ... ... ... Splinter trys to escape. Jay Stylez breaks the hold. Jay Stylez rolls Splinter into the ring, and then follows him in. Jay Stylez swings a baseball bat and hits Splinter. Splinter is bleeding as a result. Jay Stylez throws Splinter into the corner and then begins to aggressively stomp him down. Jay Stylez chants start. Splinter is out cold as Jay Stylez drives the Bionic Elbow deep into his heart. Referee Duane Dibley makes the count. ...1 ...2 Splinter kicks out.
Big Dave: How the hell did Splinter kick out of that?
Poppa: Because it was only a Bionic Elbow?
Big Dave: True.
Splinter climbs to his feet. Splinter throws Jay Stylez through the ropes, but he lands and then pulls Splinter out himself. Jay Stylez swings a Steel Chair and hits Splinter. Splinter is bleeding as a result.
Poppa: Blood, that's a surprise in this match.
Jay Stylez leaves Splinter dazed and then hits a Swinging Neckbreaker. Now Splinter standing. Jay Stylez rolls Splinter into the ring, and then follows him in. Jay Stylez swings a Steel Chair and hits Splinter. Splinter is bleeding as a result. Jay Stylez goes to the apron, then peforms an amazing Slingshot Somersault Splash. The crowd is in awe. Jay Stylez climbs to the top rope and then stuns the entire crowd with Sudden Impact Duane Dibley counts. ...1 ...2 Splinter kicks out.
Poppa: My heart was in my mouth, I was certain Jay Stylez had got the win then.
Big Dave: Sudden Impact is his trademarked Finishing Move, for Splinter to survive is a minor miracle in itself.
Jay Stylez throws Splinter clean over the top rope to the floor. Jay Stylez throws Splinter into the Guard Rail. Splinter hooks Jay Stylez's head and DDT's him on the floor. Now Splinter standing. Jay Stylez is up again. Splinter slams Jay Stylez into the steel rampway. Splinter swings a baseball bat and hits Jay Stylez. Jay Stylez is bleeding as a result. Splinter climbs to the top rope, and then floors Jay Stylez with a perfect Missile Dropkick. Jay Stylez stands up. Splinter throws Jay Stylez down the aisle back into ringside. Splinter throws Jay Stylez into the Guard Rail. Splinter goes to the apron, then peforms an amazing Slingshot Somersault Splash. The crowd is in awe. Splinter is back on his feet. Jay Stylez stands up. Splinter and Jay Stylez fight their way into the aisle. Splinter swings a baseball bat and hits Jay Stylez. Jay Stylez is bleeding as a result. Splinter gets Jay Stylez into the corner and then drives repeated fists into his face. Jay Stylez gets back to his feet. Splinter goes behind and then plants Jay Stylez with a Dragon Suplex, and bridges for the pin. Splinter moves back to his feet. Jay Stylez throws Splinter down the aisle back into ringside. Jay Stylez rolls Splinter into the ring, and then follows him in. Jay Stylez sets Splinter up DDTs him into the mat. Splinter is back on his feet. Jay Stylez jumps high in the air and catches Splinter with a Sidekick to the jaw. Jay Stylez chants start. Jay Stylez ducks behind Splinter and then drills him into the mat with the xXx. Jay Stylez crushes Splinter from the top rope with an amazing Twisting Senton Splash. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3
Big Dave: Congratulations to Jay Stylez, he picks up the win in this close contest.
Poppa: I guess that means he is 1 up in their three match series.
Big Dave: Good work Einstein. We look forward to the 2nd match next week before we head into the PPV.
Alexander and Kull are sitting in their locker room. Alexander is sitting up watching the Canadian Kaos trash America and introduce Silas Parrish as their partner for the 6 Man Tag Match tonight. Kull is leaned back also watching but nearly asleep.
Alexander: So those skank Canadian freaks want to talk some shit about America?
Kull: sits up quickly surprised by the sound of Alexander's voice
Kull: huh.... what.....huh, oh yeah fuck those skank Canadians, we'll show them exactly why we will become Hardcore Tag Team Champions.
Alexander: gets up and turns off the monitor. He walks over to Kull and slaps him on the shoulder. Kull jumps up looking like he's ready to fight in his sleepy gaze.
Alexander: They want to talk about the Great Country of America as being shit, well Canada is no better than the shit on a stick they love so much to eat.
Kull: but this time, instead of talking our talk, were gonna just show you by kicking your skank Canadian asses all over America
Alexander: 3 on 2 or 3 on 3 we will take you and your little runt partner.... but you know I think I know somebody who would love to kick Silas' ass as bad as we want to kick The Canadian Skanks.
Kull: who?
Alexander: He is the only Canadian in the whole fucking country that isn't a shit eatin' skank.
With that both men turn to the exit of their locker room and walk out of the room as the camera man lingers behind a moment before he turns the camera off.
Poppa: Who are they going to get? I don't know of a Canadian that would turn on his own country,
Big Dave: If you ask me, a few countrymen have turned against their own country. Most Canadians do not hate America.
Poppa: Oh I think you'd be quite surprised, very surprised.
Big Dave: Wait, I hear the Gods of War are with the man they think will be their partner.
The Gods of War are seen standing in fornt of a locker room door, the name plant is hidden behind Alexander's large frame. Alexander knocks at the door.
muffled Voice: yeah.....
Alexander opens the door and they walk in to the room. As the Camera follows them in he gets a shot of the door, which reads Sandstorm.
Alexander: Sandstorm, I understand you have some issues w/ Silas Parrish. So we've got a request for you.
Kull: Even though your Canadian....
Alexander: Right well, We have a 6 man Tag Team match with Canadian Kaos and your buddy Silas, and we need a partner and you want to kick Silas' ass.
Alexander and Kull stand awaiting an anwser as Sandstorm rubs his chin pondering the question.
Sandstorm: Hmmmm, even if I'm a Canadian eh?
Alexander: Well, we didn't mean it that........
Sandstorm: Hey, sounds great! This is a perfect opportunity to show you guys that not all Canadians are like Hanidul and Slim. And that mutt Parish will finally realize that I have bypassed him and he is way out of my league!
Poppa: What an idiot, turning against his own country. Fool.
Big Dave: Finally, a Canadian who sees sense.
Report: Hanibal clotheslines Sandstorm. Hanibal kicks Sandstorm clean in the family jewels. Blatant Illegal Move. Hanibal drives a forearm into Sandstorm. Hanibal grabs the head of Sandstorm and rakes his fist across his eyes. Sandstorm brings in Alexander for Gods of War. Sandstorm charges at Hanibal, but gets caught with a Drop Toe Hold. Hanibal moves back to his feet. Now Sandstorm standing. Hanibal hits a Rolling Back Kick, catching Sandstorm clean on the jaw. Sandstorm rolls out of the ring. Hanibal tags Grimm. Grimm suplexes Alexander. Hanibal hits a nice vertical suplex to Alexander, driving him into the mat. As Alexander pulls Grimm up to his feet, Grimm gets a cheap Low Blow. Alexander moves back to his feet. Grimm sees Alexander coming at him and snaps him over with a Japanese Arm Drag. Alexander gets up. Grimm hits a quick boot to Alexander's gut. Grimm lifts Alexander up to the top rope, hooks his head and then delivers the Super Plex. Grimm climbs to his feet. Grimm climbs to the top rope, prays, and then dives off with a Suicide Splash onto Alexander. Mark Johnson counts. ...1 2 Alexander kicks out. Alexander gets up. Grimm makes the tag to Hanibal. Hanibal hooks Alexander up and plants him onto the mat with a Snap Suplex. Hanibal throws Alexander into the corner and then begins to aggressively stomp him down. Hanibal delivers a lovely Snapmare to Alexander. Alexander is up again. Alexander crashes to the mat after taking a Jump Spinning Roundhouse Kick to the face. Boot to the gut, and then Alexander hits an evil DDT to Hanibal, driving his head into the mat
Big Dave: This USA v Canada war has been raging for the last few weeks, and I have no doubt it will turn bloody very soon.
Poppa: Well if the Gods of War dare to burn the Canadian Flag, I will personally Paptize them both myself.
Big Dave: Well I guess we are going to have our own USA v Canada war right here on the announcers table.
Poppa: Yeah, and I know the ending.
Big Dave: Which is?
Poppa: Me Paptizing your ass through this announcers table. Wooo!!!
Big Dave: We shall see, didn't they tell you I was an ex-wrestler as well?
Poppa: Errr damn, no, I forgot..
Alexander grabs Hanibal in a headlock, and then smashes him in the face with a big Punch. Hanibal is up again. Alexander slides behind Hanibal and snaps on the Abdominal Stretch. Mark Johnson asks Hanibal if he quits. ... Hanibal trys to escape. ... Alexander tightens the hold. Alexander breaks the hold. Hanibal's head hits the mat as Alexander delivers a devastating Fire Thunder Driver Alexander covers Hanibal. Mark Johnson counts. ...1 ...2 Hanibal escapes. Hanibal gets up. Alexander throws Hanibal clean over the top rope to the floor.
Big Dave: Mark Johnson is starting the 20 count, the two wrestlers need to get back in the ring soon.
Mark Johnson starts the count (.1) Alexander throws Hanibal into the Steel Ring Post. (..2) Hanibal charges at Alexander, but gets caught with a Drop Toe Hold. Alexander is back on his feet. Hanibal stands up. (...3) Alexander scoops Hanibal up and then Snake Eyes him on the top rope. (....4) Alexander slams Hanibal into the guard rail and he stumbles into the aisle. Alexander throws Hanibal down the aisle back into ringside. Alexander rolls Hanibal into the ring, and then follows him in. Alexander hits a boot to the gut of Hanibal and then snaps in an arm wrench. Hanibal has a waistlock on Alexander. But Mark Johnson is distracted so Alexander hits a Mule Kick. Alexander goes for a pin. Referee Mark Johnson makes the count. ...1 Hanibal escapes. Hanibal is back on his feet. Alexander makes the tag to Sandstorm, while Hanibal tags in Parish. Parish hits a boot to the gut and then drives Sandstorm head into the mat with a DDT. Sandstorm is up again. Parish throws Sandstorm to the outside and then follows him out. Mark Johnson starts the count (.1) Parish chokes Sandstorm with a Microphone Cable. Parish hooks Sandstorm up and drives his head into the floor with a Russian Leg Sweep. Parish sucks chants start in the crowd. (..2) Parish throws Sandstorm into the Steel Steps. After throwing Sandstorm into the corner, Parish makes sure he doesn't get up with violent stomps. (...3) Parish slams Sandstorm on to the Announcers Table. (....4) Parish rolls Sandstorm into the ring, and then follows him in. Sandstorm goes for a Suplex, but Parish counters out and then connects with a Terra Kick. Sandstorm climbs to his feet. Parish charges at Sandstorm and takes to the air with a Cross Body Block. Sandstorm gets back to his feet. Parish tags in Hanibal while Sandstorm tags in Kull. Kull goes for a Suplex, but Hanibal counters out, landing behind so he can hit a Reverse DDT. Hanibal gets back to his feet. Kull gets back to his feet. Hanibal goes behind and then drives Kull into the mat with a beautiful Side Suplex. Hanibal is up again. Kull stands up. Kull brings in Alexander for the Gods of War. Hanibal climbs the 2nd turnbuckle, and the dives off with an Elbow to the heart of Alexander. Alexander is up again. Hanibal hits Alexander with a couple of quick right hands. Hanibal takes Alexander down by the throat and chokes him on the mat. Hanibal climbs to his feet. Alexander climbs to his feet. Alexander tags in Sandstorm. Hanibal delivers a stiff slap to the chest of Sandstorm. Sandstorm slides behind Hanibal and plants him with a Reverse DDT. Sandstorm moves back to his feet. Hanibal stands up.
Poppa: What would you ever do without me? Don't you wish you were somewhere else? I know I do.
Big Dave: All the time, anything to just NOT hear your voice.
Poppa: What's wrong with my voice?
Big Dave: Nothings wrong with your voice, it's the rubbish you continually spout out that we all hate.
Poppa: Hate? People hate me? I never knew
Big Dave: Well now you know.
Sandstorm makes the tag to Kull. Kull goes for a Suplex, but Parish counters out, landing behind so he can hit a Reverse DDT. Kull takes a nasty elbow smash from Parish. Parish brings in Grimm for Canadian Kaos. Kull locks on a waistlock, but Grimm counters with a Mule Kick. Kull is up again. Grimm goes to whip Kull, but he reverses and then floors Grimm with a Back Elbow. Grimm charges at Kull, but gets caught by a perfect Dropkick to the face. Kull is back on his feet. Grimm gets up. Kull sees Grimms coming at him and snaps him over with a Japanese Arm Drag. Grimm is back on his feet. Kull hits Grimm with a couple of quick right hands. Kull hits a hard knife edge chop to Grimm. Kull jumps high in the air and catches Grimm with a Sidekick to the jaw. Kull crushes Grimm from the top rope with an amazing Twisting Senton Splash. Mark Johnson counts the pin. ...1 ...2 Grimm kicks out. Kull hits a quick elbow smash to the face of Grimm.Grimm climbs up to the top rope as Kull is dazed, he then flies off and hits a Missile Dropkick. Grimm sucks chants start in the crowd. Grimm stands over Kull and then does an amazing Backflip Moonsault into a pin. Mark Johnson counts the pin. ...1 ...2 Kull escapes. Kull stands up. Kull throws Grimm through the ropes, but he lands and then pulls Kull out himself. Mark Johnson starts the count (.1) Grimm throws Kull into the Steel Steps. As Kull stands up, Grimm floors him with a Spinning Wheel Kick. Grimm slams Kull into the steel rampway. (..2) Grimm places his arm across Kull's chest and then snaps him over with a T-Bone Suplex. Grimm stands up. (...3) After throwing Kull into the corner, Grimm makes sure he doesn't get up with violent stomps. Grimm sucks chants start in the crowd. Kull gets up. (....4) Grimm rolls Kull back into the ring. Grimm tags in Hanibal and the two of them deliver a Double Powerbomb. Hanibal covers. 1 2 Sandstorm breaks up the count. Alexander comes in and hits the Roman Kick on Grimm, sending him flying off the apron. Alexander then follows him out. Parish and Sandstorm collide and tackle each other down to the ground and begin to brawl with each other. Hanibal and Kull have been left alone and Hanibal decides to climb to the top rope. He goes for the Hanibal Effect (Swanton Bomb), but Kull rolls out of the way. Hanibal staggers to his feet and Kull quickly rolls him up with a Small Package. 1 2 3!!!!! Kull gets the win!!!
Big Dave: One up for the US of A.
Poppa: Okay, I'm going to sulk now.
Big Dave: USA, USA, USA.
Poppa: There's no need to rub it in.
Big Dave: . USA, USA, USA.
Poppa: Now that is why there is an anti-american movement these days, because you guys just don't know when to shut up.
Big Dave: Where was I? Oh yeah. USA, USA, USA.
"Mope" by The Bloodhound Gang thumps over the sound system. The crowd gives a mixed reaction as a slightly haggared, slightly maddened Loki creeps out onto the ramp. He gives a shifty look to the crowd around him with a twisted grin on his lips. He unstraps the Lightweight title from his waist and holds it up in one hand as he slowly makes his way to the ring. He turns his back to the ring and throws the Lightweight title over his shoulder, letting it crash uncerimoniously to the mat. He grabs the top rope and "skins the cat" over it to get into the ring. He picks up the belt and places it over one shoulder as he calls for a mic. When he gets the mic, his music cuts out.
Loki: Welly welly well well well. Seems to me that Law thinks he wants to play games with me! Seems like he thinks he can match wits with the God of Mischief. Law, what I've done to you in the past is mere child's play! My bag of tricks runs a lot deeper than you could imagine. And to prove it, tomorrow night, on Havoc, I have a special trick for all of you! *points to the crowd* Oh, it is a trick for everyone, but more specifically, this one is for Law! Ya see, Law, you thought you'd be a real wiseguy and interfere in my match, get me kicked outta the tournament. Not only that, but you made me into Heelmaster's whipping boy! His training dummy for his new style of fighting. He may have pulled my arm out of the socket, but it's healing nicely. Oh, I have a surprise for you! What surprises I have! But you'll just have to wait until tomorrow night! Be patient, you'll get what's coming to you!
Loki chuckles a little bit, relishing in the anticipation of both crowd and Law.
Loki: Pah! He keeps talking that I'm not a deserving champion! As I recall Law, I beat you fair and square. And believe me bubsy, I got the credentials to be a champion! 2 time OSW US Champ, 1 time OSW World Champ, Projectefed's Wrestler of the Month, and let's not forget the PWF Ice Age Suicide Champ! That ain't enough for ya? Okay, how's about this! Not only am I the Lightweight champ, but I'm gonna be a fightin' champ! That's right kiddies! Tonight, in this very ring, I, Loki, The God of Mischief, shall put MY Lightweight title on the line against, none other than....... anybody!
the crowd cheers
Loki: That's right! I am issuing an open challenge, right here tonight, against any one of you who wants a shot at my Lightweight title! So, who in back is feelin' cruiserweight enough to face me?! Come on! There's gotta be at least one o' ya!
Loki is in the ring pacing waiting for someone to come out when "Jumpdafuckup" by Soulfly hits the speakers. There isn't much of a reaction from the fans as they don't know who's music it is. After a few minutes of music a man steps out onto the ramp. He has a mic in his hands.
Suicide: "Some of you may know me, some of you may not. I am the one and only Suicide. I've come to the PWF to win. I didn't come here to bitch and moan like these other guys."
The fans start to cheer.
Suicide: "Loki, you come out here and run your mouth about how good you are, why don't you prove it in the ring. Right here in front of all these fans. You say you're a fighting champion. Well prove it. Tonight, me verses you. For the Light-weight Title."
Loki: "You're on."
The fans start to chant Suicide's name. He looks around to both sides of the arena and then back at Loki.
Suicide: "Let's do this."
Suicide heads towards the ring.
Report: Suicide floors Loki with the awesome Haymaker. Loki gets up. Suicide irish whips Loki into the ropes and then floors him with an awesome Clothesline. Loki is up again. Suicide delivers a violent Haymaker to the gut of Loki, sending him to the mat. Loki goes for a clothesline, but Suicide ducks and lifts him into the Rack Pancake. Carlton Rock counts. ...1 Loki escapes. Loki stands up. Loki goes in for a punch, but Suicide counters with a hard Body Punch. Suicide grabs Loki in a headlock and then rakes his eyes across the top rope. Loki is back on his feet. Loki gets taken down to the mat by a Gordbuster from Suicide. Now Suicide standing. Loki goes for a clothesline, but Suicide ducks and lifts him into the Rack Pancake. Carlton Rock counts. ...1 Loki kicks out. Suicide floors Loki with the awesome One Punch KO. Loki moves back to his feet. Suicide stuns Loki with a two handed Ear Slap. Loki shakes his head. Suicide levels Loki with a devastating Yakuza Kick. Loki stands up. Suicide locks Loki in a waistlock and then bashes him with a strong Forearm. Loki climbs to his feet. Loki goes for a Bulldog but Suicide dodges the attack. Loki hooks the head of Suicide and then snaps the Swinging Neckbreaker on him. Suicide is up again. Loki hits a boot to the gut and then drives Suicide head into the mat with a DDT. Loki climbs to his feet. Suicide is back on his feet. Suicide falls to the mat after taking a Jumping Knee Strike from Loki. Loki sets Suicide up into a Camel Clutch, and then turns it into a Recliner Pin. Carlton Rock counts the pin. ...1 ...2 Suicide kicks out.
Poppa: Wow, a Recliner Pin, I haven't seen one of those in like, ages.
Big Dave: Watch Power G in training, he does it all the time, it's one of his favourite moves.
Poppa: Yeah, I think he beat me with it once.
Big Dave: How many matches did you win as a singles wrestler?
Poppa: Err.. I lose count .. on my left hand. Might have gotten onto my right hand, not sure.
Big Dave: That bad eh?
Poppa: Hey, I was one half of the number one tag team in wrestling history. It's just a shame my partner turned out to be a jackass.
Suicide is up again. Loki locks Suicide in a Sleeper Hold, but Carlton Rock calls it as a Choke Hold and asks for a break. Loki catches Suicide with a quick front kick. Suicide goes for a Piledriver, but Loki countered with a Back Body Drop. Suicide is up again. Suicide runs at Loki , but he surprises him with a nifty Back Elbow. Loki ducks Suicide's kick and delivers a stylish Martial Art's style Legsweep. Suicide gets back to his feet. Loki floors Suicide with a picture perfect Crescent Moon Kick to the face. Loki places his foot on Suicide's chest for a very Cocky Pin. Referee Carlton Rock makes the count. ...1 Suicide escapes. Suicide takes a stiff blow to the kidneys from Loki's Jumping Roundhouse Kick. Suicide charges at Loki, but gets caught and planted with the Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker. Suicide stands up. Suicide runs at Loki , but he counters with a Scoop Slam.
Poppa: SCOOP SLAM!! SCOOP SLAM!! SCOOP SLAM!!!
Big Dave: What the?
Poppa: I always wanted to do that, but hardly anyone ever uses the Scoop Slam anymore.
Big Dave: Strange Child.
Suicide sends Loki into Carlton Rock he goes down. Suicide grabs the arm of Loki and pulls him in for a Short Arm Clothesline. Loki cringes in pain as Suicide stomps away on his knee. Suicide chants start. Law Hiyabusa runs to the ring. Loki charges at Law Hiyabusa, but he counters by lifting Loki up and hitting a Back Body Flip. Law Hiyabusa chants start. Law Hiyabusa moves back to his feet. Loki can only watch as Law Hiyabusa cartwheels and then takes him down with a Body Block. Carlton Rock is calling for the bell. Law Hiyabusa pulls Loki up and then hits the Fury of Japan. As Law is standing over Loki, Suicide attacks him from behind and hits The Effect (Stinger Death Drop). Suicide stares at both men and then backs off out of the ring.
Big Dave: Suicide obviously not too pleased that Law interfered in the match.
Poppa: Well of course not, he lost the match because of him.
Big Dave: Well we will have to wait until tomorrow to find out what Loki's big "surprise" is.
Report: The two wrestlers circle in the middle of the ring. They tie up and immediately Cain goes into a waistlock, Outlaw pulls forward and grabs the top rope, Cain rolls off backwards. Outlaw turns and charges in with a clothesline, but Cain ducks it and then hooks up Outlaw and delivers a Back Drop. Cain immediately begins to bring Outlaw up by his hair, but he gets in a few gut punches and then levels Cain with a hard right hand. The Phenomenon is up quickly, but runs straight into a volley of right hands from The Perfect Outlaw. He then sends Cain to the ropes and floors him with a clothesline. Outlaw mounts Cain and hits him with a series of precise right hands to the face. He then begins to pull him up to his feet. But Cain breaks free and pushes Outlaw away into the ropes. Outlaw comes charging in with a clothesline, but Cain ducks it and immediately counters with a Hangman's Neckbreaker. Cain floats over into a cover. .1 ..2 .. Outlaw kicks out. Cain pulls him up to his feet and scores with a couple of quick right hands. He then hooks him up and delivers a Snap Suplex. Cain paces around Outlaw and then pulls him up to his feet. He sends him into the ropes and then follows him and as Outlaw hits the ropes, Cain scores with a Jumping Calf Kick and both of them flip over the ropes and crash onto the floor. Cain is quickly to his feet and gets on the apron. He dives off with a stiff knee stomp to the gut of The Perfect Outlaw. Cain gets up and then taunts the crowd, showing off just how good he is.
Big Dave: Austin Cain kindly reminding the fans just how good he is.
Poppa: He should take it from me, it doesn't work.
Big Dave: I've never heard you spouting off how good you were.
Poppa: Not me, it was Sabre, he's quite happy to tell any girl just how good he is. I haven't seen him succeed yet, but it's never stopped him trying!!!
Big Dave: Did he ever try it on with Dark Raven?
Poppa: Once, and only once!!!
Cain pulls Outlaw up and rolls him back into the ring. Cain follows in and helps Cain up to his feet. He delivers a boot to the gut and then slides behind him and delivers a Shin Breaker. Cain then holds Outlaw's leg down as he swings himself up in the air for a hard knee smash. Outlaw begins to pull himself up holding his knee. Cain delivers an uppercut and Outlaw staggers into the corner. Cain follows in and hits a hard knife edge chop. Outlaw holds his chest as Cain hits another right hand. Cain lifts Outlaw up onto the top rope. He hooks him up for a Superplex, but Outlaw counters with a low blow, which goes undetected by Referee Mark Johnson. Outlaw then quickly climbs to his feet and somersaults over Cain and snaps him down with a Powerbomb. Outlaw now makes the cover. 1 ..2 . Cain kicks out. Outlaw pulls him up to his feet and throws him back into the corner. Outlaw then begins to lay into Outlaw with some hard boots to the gut. He then whips Cain to the opposite corner and follows in with a hard clothesline. Cain staggers out and Outlaw scoops him up onto his shoulder. He then turns and slams Cain into the mat. Outlaw hooks the leg back. 1 2 . Cain kicks out.
Big Dave: The Perfect Outlaw is now looking to demonstrate some of his skills, this being our first chance to evaluate him.
Poppa: Well we know his morals, he wants to make the wrestling world a better place by removing all the "imperfections". Guess it's a good thing I'm no longer a wrestler.
Big Dave: Why? Don't you think you are perfect enough?
Poppa: No, because I'd probably have to Paptize his ass, and it would look pretty unpleasant.
Outlaw pulls Cain up to his feet and sends him into the ropes, he scoops him up and then plants him with a Side Buster. Outlaw then comes off the ropes and scores with a hard knee drop. Outlaw pulls Cain up to his feet and scores with an uppercut. Austin Cain staggers around the ring and Outlaw boots him in the gut and then lifts him up Suplex style, but then drills him headfirst into the mat with a Brainbuster. Outlaw hooks the leg back. .1 ..2 . Cain shoots his shoulder up at the last second. Outlaw pulls Cain up and sends him into the ropes, Outlaw goes for a running clothesline, but Cain ducks it. They both come off the ropes and crash into each other with a Double Clothesline. Mark Johnson begins a ten count, but both men slowly stagger up to their feet. Cain is still a little out of it, and it allows Outlaw to swing with a right hand, but Cain ducks it. Outlaw then goes for a violent, lunging right hand, but Cain ducks it and Outlaw KO's the referee. Cain recovers and he connects with a right hand. He then ducks Outlaw's attempted right hand and goes behind and plants him with a hard German Suplex. Cain gets to his feet and takes a deep breath, and then goes into his usual cocky pose. He pulls Outlaw up and sends him into the ropes where he sends Outlaw high into the air and scores with The Phenomenon (Body Press Diamond Cutter). Cain hooks the leg back. . But the referee is still out. Cain looks around for the ref and sees Mark Johnson out cold. He goes over and is trying to wake him up. The Perfect Outlaw has rolled out of the ring. The referee begins to move and Cain turns to look for Outlaw, but he can't see him. He climbs out of the ring and looks for him, but he's not there. He gets back in the ring and goes over to the other side of the ring, but again Outlaw is not there. We see Outlaw crawl from under the ring behind Cain and he gets into the ring, armed with a Steel Chair. Cain hears him and turns around, but he is too late, and takes the chair shot clean over the head. Outlaw tosses the chair out of the ring and makes the cover. Mark Johnson crawls over to make the count. 1 .2 3!!!!! The Perfect Outlaw picks up the win.
Big Dave: The Perfect Outlaw picks up a cheap win over Austin Cain, with the help of the steel chair.
Poppa: What did you expect from a guy who wears a mask to the ring?
Big Dave: Rey Mysterio wears a mask, and he doesn't need a steel chair.
Poppa: Don't try and prove me wrong, or I'll paptize your ass.
Big Dave: Okay, whatever
Poppa: Hey, do you think Perfect Outlaw will join the gWo?
Big Dave: Why'd you ask?
Poppa: Well he has all their traits. He's evil, he cheats, he plays dirty, that's enough isn't it? I mean what's the rule to get in? You have to share two qualities with MVD or something like that.
Big Dave: Your going to get yourself in trouble.
Poppa: It's okay, I'll just hide behind you, that way, you'll take the Vandaminator, and I'll be safe.
Big Dave: Whatever. Anyway folks, that's all for this weeks show, we'll be back next week with lots more top notch PWF action. See you then folks.
Poppa: And don't forget to send Sabre lots of hate mail.